CHAPTER 1 - Beautiful Girl Ugly Life

It was in the last few minutes of class before recess. The little faces of the children so young and innocent. The teacher was tall and skinny and her body graced with time. They all sat quietly in there chairs since the teacher promised if they were quiet until the bell they would receive at least 5 more minutes to play. For a 2nd grader 5 more minutes on that swing set was just great. A thing their still developing minds knew was something to be quiet for. Riiinngg! The bell let out its cry. The children ran towards the door like little crazy monkeys. All accept one of course. Little Victoria walked slowly and gracefully, mouth shut, alone in her raggedy faded out dress she wore almost everyday. Her hair, wavy, long, and blonde and her pale white porcelian skin. Such beauty in a small girl. A shame for the life she had.
It was warm outside. The sun peeked through the puffy white clouds and shown over the playground. It was all quite perfect. The children in there groups playing little games, shrieking with joy and laughter of being free from the bleak insides of the classrooms. The teacher was over scolding some little boys for their potty mouths. They tried to hide their faces holding in the tears. The wrath in their eyes towards the teacher was really quite normal. Who else to be mad at than the one who stopped your fun right? Victoria looked over shortly at one of the boys. He looked back noticing her then stuck his tongue out. She turned and walked away careless. All alone she went to the normal spot she was to be found during this time. Underneath an old dead tree near a small forest at back of the playground. No one else would go back there for they all thought it was haunted by the ghost boy. Victoria had heard the story from an older kid the first day of school.
"Hey kid! Your not gonna go back there are you?" he said. Victoria looked at him and turned to walk away. "Its haunted" , he'd let out. She had stopped and turned back around waiting for the reason why and he responded, "You see a long time ago there was this little boy about your age and he was like really weird. They said he was a demon boy possessed by the devil himself and his mother was a witch who killed people to use their body parts for her potions. All the people in the town were afraid they would hurt their children so they took the mother and her son and hung them both up on that tree. Now it's said that anyone who goes and sits under that tree or anywhere near that forest with be taken away and never returned. They say its the son who takes you away so he can give you to his mother so she can chop you up and use you not for her potions but only for revenge on the people who killed her before" he paused "So yah I wouldn’t go back there if I was you." There was a long pause between them and she had looked at him and then to the ground as if making an important decision.
"Interesting" , she had finally said and walked away towards the tree. She remembered the kid mumbling something rude about her under his breath before he turned to go back and enjoy that intense game of kickball all the 6th graders were all in on that day. She didn't care.
Victoria had gone and sat underneath that tree every day since then and she never got taken away by the ghost. Some of the kids said that he was probably to afraid of her himself to want to take her. She tried to ignore the harsh comments other kids gave her. She was always trying to reach peace in her mind. It was rather hard with everything that went on in her life. Such trouble and pain at such a young age. She can only hope it will get better before she dies.
A whistle rang out in her head. The kids started back towards the school. She got up and drifted back slowly. Always the last one in the room. The teacher grabbed her arm as she walked in.
"Oh dear, what is that on your arm?" the teacher asked. She lifted the sleeve to reveal a large black and blue mark on the bottom of her left arm. They both looked down at it. The teacher making mother like faces as if Victoria was her own child who happened to get a "boo boo" as it’s said. Victoria looked up at the teacher.
"It’s nothing" she said
"Its ok, tell me what happened" the teacher said
"Umm, I got hit with a soccer ball at recess a few days ago" she stuttered. The teacher gave her a stern look then faded it back to the motherly look.
"Well ok, I guess you'll just have to be more careful next time" she smiled and patted her on the back.
"Ok" she said as she walked into the school.
When school was over she got her books and shoved them into her small gray backpack. It was torn in many places. She was definitely in need of a new one. Her parents never noticed it, but she didn't bother to tell them about it.
She walked down a long narrow street. The houses were in perfect order. All nice family houses like on the tv shows. The mini van in the driveway and the swing set in the backyard. Everything was pretty much the same. Everyone in her town was really pretty much the same. All very religious people. The church she passed on her way home everyday was huge. It was old fashioned and the sunlight shown beautifully against the stained glass windows. Pictures of scenes from the bible were on them. A large cross lay a top the building. At night when they lit it up she could sometimes see it from her house. It was very beautiful as it shined from a far. Sometimes she saw it as herself. Surrounded by darkness but still shining bright inside. She wished she could go to church like the other kids but her parents never took her there and she wasn't allowed to go anywhere except school or if her parents asked her to go get them something.
One day she wandered into the church. The big wooden doors were never locked. You were always welcome there. She thought that was nice. The inside led right to a large ile with wooden benches set in rows on each side. The sun light shown through the window and onto the floor making it a mixture of bright colors. The ceiling was painted too. It was really fancy and detailed with little angels and clouds. Then up against the back wall was a man. He was nailed to a large cross and a halo of thorns was wrapped around his head. His hair dangled below. The painted on blood almost looked real to her. She didn’t know who the guy was or why he was nailed to a cross but it fascinated her. She found looked at it for several minutes. Admiring the man. When she realized how long she'd been gone she ran home as fast as she could but she was too late. Her father was there on the front porch when she got home. She tried to explain but he grabbed her and took her into his room. The snap of his belt felt like bullets through her chest. She cried for her mother but she was already passed out from the pain killers and alcohol. That night Victoria didn’t sleep. The pain was too much for her. She cried into her pillow so she wouldn’t wake her dad up. They kept her home from school the next day. She stayed in her room listening to the yells and screams of her parents. Her mother came in and saw her then started to cry. She went to go hold her but the father came in and took her out of the room. That seemed to be the starting point of the havoc that reeked that day. She tried to ignore it by drawing little happy pictures in her notebook but when she heard a loud smack followed by the crash of a body hitting the floor and large stomps leading out a soon to be slammed door the tears smeared the ink all down the page. The little happy stick people family was now turned into smeared up faceless blurs. She knew then that it only resembled her family more. That was the worst day of her life. She knew it was her fault though. She shouldn't have gone into the church. It was her own mistake.
She made it down towards the end of the street. It looked good until you came to her house. Exactly at the end of the street. A long line of pine trees acted as the dead end. Her house was small. One of the windows had plastic over it due to last months feud. The light brown paint was chipping off revealing the moldy wood behind it. The roof was missing a few shingles but the pans and bowls kept the floors from getting wet during the rain. She didn't really care what her house looked like though. She was just glad she had a house. She never considered it a home though. She was always welcome but she never wanted to be there.
She walked into the house. Her mother was washing dishes. The ashes from her cigarette fell into the sink. Her hair was pulled up into a pony tail. Raggedy and falling out from her health condition. She turned around as she heard Victoria's foot steps creep into the house.
"Hello Honey" , she said. The bags under her eyes showed the fatigue.
"Hi mom" she said in a soft voice. She looked about the room for a few minutes."Is daddy home?"
"No, He will be late tonight. You can watch cartoons if you want."
"Okay”, she said trying to let out a smile.
"Vicky", she dried her hands off and came to her slowly. Putting her hands softly on her daughter’s shoulders looking down into her icy blue eyes."You know I love you right?" she said
"Yeah.." Victoria responded slowly.
"Do you love me?"
"Yeah" , she said looking deep into her mothers eyes as tears began to run down from them. They hugged. She could hear her mother’s heart beat as she lay her head into her chest.
"I want to make your life better baby. I am going to try my best. I'm sorry you have a horrible mother. I can't even protect my own daughter. My own flesh and blood." She dropped to knees and started to cry more. She covered her face with her hands.
"I'm horrible, I'm so horrible" , she kept repeating. Victoria grabbed her hands and pulled them away from her face and looked straight into her eyes.
"Mommy You’re not horrible. I..I know you try”, the water built up at the bottom of her eyes waiting to burst out. " I love you." , she said at last. A smile stretched across her mothers face. It was silent for what seemed like forever as they looked into each others eyes.
"Honey I'm Home!" Her father yelled as he stumbled into the house clinging to a half empty beer bottle. He walked over to them slowly, tripping and running into everything. "Well aren't you gonna welcome me?" he asked. His face turned from the happy drunken smirk into a frown, eyebrows curved down. "Well aren't you gonna fucking welcome me!?!" The beer bottle once gripped tightly in his hands now flew through the air smashing into the wall. He stopped and looked closer at them noticing the tears. A puzzled look crossed his face. "What’s going on here?” he walked closer. His wife stood up. Victoria stay still almost too afraid to look up into his eyes. He grabbed the mother tightly and shook her. "What you been doing? Why you crying?" , he yelled once more.
"Nothing" she said looking at the ground then towards Victoria. His eyes quickly shifted down towards the young girl. He pushed his wife away and knelt down level to Victoria.
"Look at me...Look at me dammit!” he ordered. She slowly looked up into his eyes. As soon as they met he slapped her hard right across the face. She looked down, tears pouring from her eyes now. The mother watching in horror. She started towards her daughter to help her but he stopped her and pushed her back.
"Stay out of this" He looked at her like it was a threat. She backed off quickly, to much of a coward to keep trying.
"You made her cry. You hurt your mamma girl. Now your gonna have to get hurt.” a sickening smile crossed his face. He picked her up and carried her into the back his room. Her mother fell to the ground again. She wanted so hard to help but she couldn’t find her self to actually do it. She could hear the screams come from the room. It was like someone strangling her heart. Squeezing out everything and leaving the pieces behind to rot. Only the drugs could numb the pain. She took the needle from the drawer and stuck it in her arm. She closed her eyes. She wanted to die. She didn’t think she deserved be alive anymore. She was useless. She wouldn’t do anything to help the one she loved so she deserved no love , no life. A last scream let out followed by the menacing chuckle of the father. He walked out the door closing it behind him.
"So honey. I guess Its your turn...But you'll like it" he said smiling. She stayed on the floor sitting against the cupboard. He walked over and picked her up carrying her over to the couch. She sat up in it. The drugs reaching their peak. She wouldn't remember what was about to happen in the morning. She faded from herself into this totally different person. Care free of everything. Willing to do anything. He looked her in the eye with that smile. She smiled back and from there they would end the night leaving their sins on the cushions of that small black couch.